Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away  

 'How rude' thought the spider, 'I really must chide her
For having no manners’, said he,

‘For one might have thought

That the girl had been taught

How to act in polite company’

But the youth of today, I am sorry to say,

Have not learned the most basic respect

And those well-refined manners

That once were the norm

Have now fallen into neglect

I blame it on parents and moral decline

I blame it on chocolate and crisps

I blame television

And lack of revision

I blame it on willow-the-wisps

I simply can’t sanction such phobic reaction

Towards an arachnid like me

Who works and pays tax

Then likes to relax

With cake and a nice cup of tea

Then thinking of lunch he started to munch

On Miss Muffet’s curds and whey

And he thought it was fine

To sit down and dine

On such a beautiful day

When little Miss Muffet returned to her tuffet

She sat and looked into the pot

The spider was gone
He'd not stayed long
But he'd finished the whole blooming lot!

How rude!